Glimpses of the Trinity in the Music of Jon Bellion

I guess if I knew tomorrow, I guess I wouldn’t need faith.

I guess if I never fell, I guess I wouldn’t need grace.

I guess if I knew His plans, I guess He wouldn’t be God.

So maybe I don’t know…But maybe that’s okay.

Jon Bellion approaches the mystery of a triune God with a mixture of cautious wonder and creative abandon. He views the relationships in his life as vehicles through which he can learn more about himself, others, and God. And in doing so, he reflects the relational nature inherent to the God of the trinity. But his inquiries into the nature of God and our relationship to Him don’t stop there. Bellion pushes his understanding of God as far as he can within the bounds of awe, mystery, and amazement. The way he creates and the meaning behind his lyrics point to a mysterious God that can only be understood as a loving Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

THE MAKING OF THE MUSIC

The temptation behind a deep dive into the music of Jon Bellion is to close by putting him on a pedestal as a theologian hidden in pop culture. There’s the option to praise him for expounding upon the nature of a triune God through artful music in a way that is all at once creative, complex, and accessible.

But that’s not my intention.

To say that Bellion has outlined a doctrine of the trinity across his music is to misrepresent the work that he has done. Instead of transposing a specific theological construct onto his music, we can look at how he creates and what he creates in order to see the triune God behind it all.

Jon Bellion is no trinitarian apologist. But his methods and his music speak louder to the image of God working through him than any coherent argument could. Because as he reflects the image of God in which he was created, he bears witness to the loving, relational, and mysterious God that exists as one in three persons.

First, look at the way he creates his music—the method behind the madness. Bellion would be the first to tell you that having a community around him is key to his creative process. As he says, “I need collaboration to keep me moving.” Watching any behind the scenes footage of his artistic process, one can’t help but be drawn to the flexible nature with which he pulls others in, encourages their contribution to what’s happening, and expresses a deep gratitude for their presence. After making his first two albums almost completely alone, Bellion is aware of how fortunate he is to be able to work with other professional musicians. He also shares that communication is key to the process—being able to talk out what he’s thinking is the only way he knows how to work.

While we aren’t privy to the inner workings of the trinity, it’s not hard to imagine Bellion’s creative process as a similar image to how God works and moves. In the same way Bellion draws in a bassist for one part, a vocalist for another, and a string quartet for yet another, we can imagine God the Father working in tandem with the Son and the Holy Spirit—each person using their diversity in perfect harmony and unity.

It’s this same sort of harmony and unity that Bellion is after. Describing the creative session behind the song, “Stupid Deep,” Bellion says, “This entire session was a church service, like a therapy session.” He brings his friends, his families, and his peers into the art of creating, and in doing so, he gives anyone who’s looking a glimpse of what it looks like to create from the image of God that lives in us. In the same way that God invited Adam into the Garden to cultivate and care for the plants and animals, Bellion opens the door for anyone who can help. He looks at the common thread everyone shares and opens his arm to the community that can come from it, saying, “whether you’re tall, or short, or black, or white, or whatever, whatever you believe in—there’s a common thread called the ‘human condition’ that we all deal with.”

The Human Condition is, in fact, the name of one of Bellion’s albums, and in it, we see songs that address the relationships in Bellion’s life and his inquiries into the nature of the God who’s behind everything.

THE MEANING BEHIND THE LYRICS

The more you listen to the music of Jon Bellion, the more you hear how his belief in God has shaped not just his music but who he is as a person. His songs vary between singing about relationships with others and his relationship with God. It’s through these relationships, and through the essence of human nature, that Bellion tried to work out the nature of God. For example, in the song “Human,” Bellion says:

I always fear that I’m not living right

So I feel guilty when I go to church.

The pastor tells me I’ve been saved, I’m fine.

Then please explain to me why my chest still hurts.

You can hear him wrestling with the idea that if God is love, and if He has chosen a loving relationship with us, then why do we still doubt and wonder? This type of open and honest reflection gives him a chance to ask existential questions without fear of offending or alienating God. Only a loving triune God can take our doubts and worries and fears and love us through them. Bellion understands that this is the type of relationship he has with God, and he embraces the freedom that comes from a relational God to then ask hard questions.

And Bellion knows that this connection to God is crucial for more than just his commercial success. As he explains, “I have times where I waiver things that maybe I don’t know and things that I don’t understand why they happened. It’s hard to deal with. It makes me question things and it makes me question God. It makes me question my faith all the time. But I try to hold onto it as best as I possibly can because that’s the anchor throughout this whole life.” Only the triune God can take those doubts and worries and choose to love us through them. We can approach Him with a lack of understanding, and He still invites us in.

We can even approach Him with a lack of gratitude for what He has done. As Bellion sings in the song “Ungrateful Eyes,” “All we want to know is where the stars came from, but do we ever watch to stop them shine? Are we staring with ungrateful eyes?” Bellion sees God in the creation around him and wonders about his own ability to understand and appreciate it all. What kind of God could’ve created all that we see? And what type of God could’ve created us? A singular person, detached God cannot be the answer to Bellion’s seeking. The answers about creation and love can only be found in a God who is the loving creator.

Listening through Bellion’s catalog of music and you’ll find songs that cover both sides. There’s brokenness in “Morning in America,” heartbreak in “iRobot,” and worry in “The Internet.” In all these different songs, Bellion addresses how far we’ve wandered from the loving relationships God has designed us for. Love, Bellion says, is more like an ocean, “Fighting it is hopeless, sinking in your ocean, just like you designed me to do.” Listeners are reminded of Francis Thompson’s Hound of Heaven, always pursuing after those whom he loves. God is the creator God who pursues us. He doesn’t just make us and let go—He makes us, then loves us.

But it’s not always that obvious. Even Jon Bellion will tell you that he’s not always sure how his relationship with God works. He can waver between confidence and doubt, both knowing that he is loved by God and at the same time wondering how that could ever be possible. His faith, like that of any believer, fluctuates, but it doesn’t change the nature of God. In fact, it’s this exact type of mystery that again points to the trinity.

THE MYSTERY BEHIND IT ALL

The wonder that Bellion acknowledges is the exact type of mystery that again points to the trinity. Faithful men and women face the temptation to learn as much as they can about God without actually growing in their relationships with Him. Bellion addresses this in “Human.”

See I got GPS on my phone

And I can follow it to get home

If my location's never unknown

Then tell me why I still feel lost.

Learning everything we can without actually growing in our love for God is like looking at a GPS in an unfamiliar town—with our noses buried in the map, can we really look around and enjoy, let alone love, our surroundings? Bellion seems aware of this own temptation within himself. And while he sings a lot about his doubt and wonder, he also writes with a confidence in who God is. In the powerful outro song, “Hand of God,” Bellion juxtaposes his own self-doubt with a confidence that God is in complete control:

I am just a man, I am just a man

Who lusts, gives, tries

Sometimes I lose my way…

When you’re lost in the universe, lost in the universe

Don’t lose faith

My mother says, “your whole life’s in the hand of God.”

In spite of his own doubts and insecurities, Jon Bellion knows that a loving triune God is going to stick with him through the doubts and uncertainties. He knows that he will never be able to fully understand how God made the stars or the debts to which God loves us, but that doesn’t stop him from moving toward God.

In studying the trinity, a chance to do the same exists. We will never understand the inner workings of the trinity. How Christ was both fully God and fully man will forever remain a mystery, as will God’s acts of creation and the ways in which the Spirit works. We will not fully understand these things on this side of heaven. But that doesn’t mean we should abandon them. There is still great value in studying these ultimate mysteries. There’s still a chance to move closer toward God in our study of Him. And that’s exactly what we see Jon Bellion doing in and through his music.

He’s inviting others into his creative process, mirroring the relational nature of a God who is an inherently relational being. He’s writing songs that address doubts and fears, love and heartbreak, faith and confusion, all at the same time—embracing the mysterious nature of God and moving toward it. And finally, he’s comfortable with saying that God is a mystery, that he doesn’t know all the answers, but that he does know God is in complete control.

Theologians and artists alike can find great comfort in the music of Jon Bellion. This rambunctious New Yorker probably never intended for his music to be the subject of a study on trinitarianism. But that’s exactly what makes art such a powerful way to approach the Triune God. Because through music, writing, or visual art, we can peel back the layers of our God’s greatest mysteries even when we’re just trying to make a song that people will dance to. Somehow this juxtaposition of realities exists. And somehow, even that reflects, at least in part, the God who is three in one.

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Jon Bellion is one of the most fun musicians to watch and listen to. Anyone viewing him can tell that he enjoys making music. He enjoys both the process and the performance that comes with his chosen career. This is the reflection of the image of God which we are all capable of indwelling. Because the God that we love is a loving and relational creator and savior. And when we approach our lives with this same type of love, a desire for relationships, and an extended arm of grace and compassion, we’re reflecting the triune God. You don’t have to fully understand the trinity for your life to be a living and breathing reflection of God’s nature.

So, when it comes to the trinity, when it comes to exactly how God’s nature is reflected in art, all we get are glimpses. As Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13:12, “Now I know in part; then I shall know in full.” Or as Jon Bellion says, “Maybe I don’t know…but maybe that’s okay.”